Last night I took my wife and my mother-in-law to see The Chief. The Chief is a one man show performed by Tom Atkins, and it takes place in Art Rooney's office at Three Rivers Stadium following the 1976 season. Fear not theater buffs, the show consists of only about 10% football stories and 90% Pittsburgh stories and life lessons. In fact, he doesn't even mention the Steelers until well into the first half of the 90 minute show. Instead, he details his life running card games, boxing at carnivals, horse racing and just about any vice you could imagine as a kid growing up in the 1920's and 1930's. His anecdotes about being involved in Pittsburgh's incestuous political scene are hysterical.
Mr. Rooney guides the audience on a whirlwind tour of his childhood, growing up as poor Irish Catholic on the rough and tumble streets on the North Side of Pittsburgh, and progresses through his adult years and the struggles to maintain the Steelers franchise that he loved so much through 40 straight losing seasons.
Atkins has been playing the Chief for about 5 years, and his love of the role is plain to see. I've seen the show twice now, and Atkins clearly is afforded some artistic license to switch it up a bit. Within the first 6 minutes, after the cigar smoke fills the little theater, you're convinced you're actually in the office with the man himself.
The show regularly pops up at the O'Reilly Theatre for a week or 2 each year. This week it's part of the Steeler's 75th Anniversary. However, there are rumors that they plan to soon pack it in once and for all. Therefore, if you can get out and see through Saturday - do so. It may never be back. It's absolutely mesmerizing and a must-see for any Pittsburgher or Steelers fan. Hell, it's a must-see for anyone with a pulse.
As Fall approaches, I thought it was only natural to turn over a new leaf of my own and return to trying to regularly post on this blog. Frankly, I was surprised to hear that a few folks actually read my posts, and still others often enjoyed them. So, I felt partially pressured to come back, but I realized that I missed it too. I found myself commenting more regularly on other's blogs and concluded that I should just go back to penning my own.
As the new title of the blog would indicate, I tend to prefer offering a collection of random thoughts - whether they be about life, sports, raising kids, current events, and whatever else gets my blood boiling. So, without further adieu . . .
Nobody asked me, but . . .
1. Daredevil Steve Fossett probably isn't missing at all but instead pulling a masterful stuntman like prank. We'll all hear from him again in the next 2 weeks.
2. I saw a headline today about how nuclear weapons were mistakenly flown over the U.S, and it grabbed my attention. However, upon further review, I'm not quite sure what all of the ruckus is about. Specifically, "a military official told CNN there was no nuclear risk to public safety because the weapons were not armed. Officials believe that if the plane had crashed or the missiles somehow had fallen off the wings, the warheads would have remained inert and there would have been no nuclear detonation, though conventional explosive material in the warhead could have detonated." So what's the big deal? I assume we have big bad nuclear weapons located around the U.S. everyday. They are also on ships and subs surrounding the globe. And while I agree that it is probably a good policy to know where these things are at any given time, this thing seems to be being blown way out of line. Not to mention the millions of dollars that will likely be spent on the sure-to-follow Pentagon investigation into exactly how, why and when it all happened . . . three things that we probably know today.
3. Charlie Weis is an idiot. Period.
4. I realize I'm stating the obvious here, but college football in HD is a gift from God. You can yap all you want about Planet Earth on the Discovery Channel, or some great show on PBS HD about the inch worm, but for my money there was nothing more visually appealing than the Cal-Tennessee game at sunset. The colors, the landscapes, the vistas were spectacular, and the game wasn't half bad either.
5. Speaking of the Cal game, DeSean Jackson's punt return was poetry; however, watch it again and take note of the 5 or 6 great blocks that sprung him . . .
6. Fred Thompson will make some serious noise as a candidate for President. He may just walk off with the nomination. However, I wonder if his anti-abortion position will hurt him when he's head-to-head against Giuliani. I'm not so much worried about his positions on same-sex marriage etc., because those folks typically don't vote R anyway.
Well, that was fun and I look forward to doing it again real soon . . .
I know that I have previously posted anti-reality TV rants in this space, but I feel compelled to share some amazing personal statistics with you. I've successfully selected the last 4 "winners" of The Bachelor within the first three episodes.
I was spot on with my choice of Taylor Hicks during the American Idol audition show last year and I think I may have another similar winner in Blake tonight. My wife thinks I have some sort of Reality TV 6th Sense. I can't explain it. I don't read People or US. I don't watch Entertainment Tonight. However, these things just come to me, and they come to me with such overwhelming clarity. It's freaky. If only there was a way to channel these powers for good instead of evil.
I've been out of the loop for a while for a multitude of reasons. Between a lot of work, the start of Little League, the Easter holiday, the kids' spring break, a sick 100 year old grandfather, a sick 65 year old father, a small house fire, and just plain laziness, I simply haven't had much time or desire to write. However, with the third straight cold and rainy day in Pittsburgh upon me, I've decided to saddle up to the laptop and give it a ride.
Since my last post, much has crossed my mind . . . including such interesting and complex topics as:
1. Human mortality
2. Coping with death and one's right to die
3. The state of our health care system
4. The state of our elder care system
5. How to afford 3 and 4
6. Whether Purell really works (and if so, why don't we bath in it)
7. Local school board politics
8. What the Steelers need in the NFL Draft
9. Why we can't see the highlights of Porter v. Jones at The Plams in Vegas
10. How many games the Pirates will lose
11. After watching Barry Bonds hit 2 on Friday, wondering how great this moment would be if he was just a nice guy. I don't even care about the steroids, unless you can convince me that he's the only one that did em. He's just a jerk.
12. Why appliances don't last as long as they used to.
13. Why I can't get a tee time at Pebble Beach some 4 months in advance. Are there that many people who want to pay $475 for a 6 hour round of golf?
14. How amazing it is that certain 18 year old athletes like Sidney Crosby can carry themselves better than some 30 year old athletes.
15. Where the palm branches come from for Palm Sunday, and whether there's any money to be made in a one-day-a-year business like that.
16. Why Little League starts in April only so that the first 5 games can be rained/snowed out.
17. Why the Giants are playing the Pirates in April in Pittsburgh instead of the other way around.
18. If we really went to war over oil, why the price of gas has gone up steadily ever since. Didn't we win?
19. How Zach Johnson (a) hit it stiff on 16, (b) rolled in the 12 footer for birdie, (c) hit a remarkable chip on the 72nd hole to secure his par, and (d) performed all of the above without barfing all over himself.
20. Why on Earth Tiger Woods - the best wedge player in golf - would try and reach the 15th in two when he had to hit a 3-iron out of the rough and around a pinetree to a green that has a pond in front of it. Eldrick, lay up, hit a sand wedge stiff, tap in your birdie and perhaps then Z. Johnson might have had a little reflux . . .
21. Why more people can't be like the major league umpire who tossed 2 game balls to my son and his buddy between innings of the Pirates Giants game the other night. Wouldn't the world be a better place if more of us engaged in completely effortless acts of kindness like this? It wouldn't cost us anything and frankly it wouldn't even require most of us to change our daily routine in the slightest.
22. Since everyone seems to be watch (and raving about) the Discovery Channel's Planet Earth series, why do the networks continue to pummel us with Survivor 8, American Idol, Law & Order XII, and similar repetitive junk. Planet Earth proves my point that the American viewing public, when given the choice, will pick quality over crap most of the time. Or at least that portion of the American viewing public that matters.
23. HD tv is amazng, but way too inconsistent.
24. Why are we all of the sudden fascinated by weather? When did the notion of weather being an acceptable opener to the evening news become acceptable and how can we reverse this trend? Why do these news broadcasts insist on peddling fear?
25. When are your kids old enough to discuss the reality of things like the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. Does my 11 year old really believe in these things or is she just playing me for the $5 and the candy?
As you can see, I've had a lot on my mind. Talk to you soon.
Spent a few days in Chicago for a firm meeting and then Newark for business. Travel, and especially delayed travel, always leads to plenty random thoughts:
1. Went to Round 1 of the NCAA Tournament at the United Center. Having been to the Round 1 games in the past and walked away with some amazing memories, I can now affirmatively state that if you don't (a) have a rooting interest for one of the teams at your site or (b) catch a great upset, it may just be one of the most boring days in all of sports. As you know for prior entries on this blog, I am an avid sports fan and a huge tournament fan. However, after sitting through the slop of UNLV - GA Tech, a Kansas drumming of poor Niagra and a slow moving Kentucky - Villanova match up, I'm struggling to think of something that would more painful in the world of big time sports.
2. Our firm has established a relationship with Fairmont hotels - a hotel chain that I had no prior experience with and frankly had never even heard of prior to last year. I can tell you that after 3 or 4 stays in the last couple years, they are top notch properties. Very nice in every respect.
3. Some good displays of college pride this weekend since the tournament games coincided with Chicago's St. Patrick's day parade. The residents and alumni of Kansas and Wisconsin must all be either retired or unemployed. Every single one of them was in Chicago.
5. Not a single double-digit seed in the Sweet 16. Great for the tournament committee, who picked the teams and selected the seeds. Lousy for the average fan watching the games.
6. In support of the theory that bigger is not always better, I present the Chicago St. Patrick's Day parade. I found it to be (a) waaaay overcrowded, (b) in a horrible spot to accommodate the crowd, (c) not much of a parade, and (d) really much ado about nothing. This affair has absolutely nothing on the parade in Pittsburgh.
7. Notwithstanding the foregoing, the post-parade bar scene is unlike anything I've ever seen. Folks think nothing of waiting on line for hours (in lines 40-50 yards long) to get in. Made no sense to me. I'd like to think its because I'm getting older and perhaps a bit wiser, but it was a predominantly mature crowd in itself.
8. Chicago has it all over NYC in the big city category. After spending 4 days in Chicago, I think it's fair to say that NYC is a dump.
9. The ultimate irony in air travel occurred during our return flight home. Despite clear blue skies and no wind at O'Hare and similar conditions in Pittsburgh, our flight was still 3 hours late.
10. After 4 of the last 6 hockey games I have attended/watched have ended in shoot outs, I started to wonder why the NHL didn't make the move to the shoot out a lot sooner. What a great way to end a game. The only thing worse than sitting through #1 above might been leaving a hockey game after 3 periods and an OT session still tied at 0.
11. After about an 8 hour stop at home, I'm back on the road. Destination: Newark for 2 days. It still sucks. However, Tony, the Portuguese bartender at the Hilton, was a friendly face. His meatloaf and mashed potatoes suggestion was spot on and the Pens-Rangers game was on the new 50" hi def. Not a bad way to spend a night in Newark, assuming you must.
12. Of course, the flight home tonight is delayed, so I'm parked in the Newark airport. No Bill Murray this time, but a few folks from home so the time is passing somewhat quickly. Ultimately turns into a 2 hour delay.
13. I spent the past few days negotiating opposite a young punk from a big NYC firm. The kid was a 6 year associate and if its true that you learn everything you really need to know in kindergarten, this kid went straight from the womb to junior high. What a pompous, self-absorbed jackass.
Start with the premise that my client is one of the oldest companies in its industry and one of the biggest companies in the world. I was joined by 2 in-house lawyers from my client, who together had approximately 50 years of practice under their belts and two business people from the company with about 60 years of experience in their field. I have been in practice for about 15 years. Simply put, we're entitled to some respect during the process.
In the span of 2 days, Boy Wonder managed to piss off everyone in the room at least twice - including his own client. I realize that all lawyers have their own style, and we must all advocate for our clients. However, after about the 10th degrading remark, the 15th ridiculously irrelevant hypothetical and the 100th absolutely unreasonable and unbending stance on an issue, I did something I've never done before. I stopped F. Lee Obnoxious in mid-sentence, and politely advised his client that if their lawyer continued in this way, my clients were going back to their offices and I was getting on the early flight. I reminded them that this was a business deal and not Hell Week at Skippy's fraternity, and that the well-respected and well-educated representatives of my client (and their company) were entitled to a little more respect from someone who was born sometime around the Bicentennial. I've never pulled age/rank before in a negotiation and I always hated it when opposing counsel used that tactic on me - usually in an attempt to demonstrate to my client that they knew more than I did. But in this case, my goal was simply to shut the Punk up. I don't care if he's the world's foremost authority on this sort of transaction and is widely known as a guru in his field. He was rude, disrespectful, arrogant, single-minded, loud, an obtuse. In a word: a prick.
So, I went with my gut and did what I thought was right. The lead business person on the other side listened to what I had to say and chuckled, before responding "David, I'm impressed with your patience. I wouldn't have let it go on this long if I were you.". He then looked at the now beet red face of this Munchkin and said, "John, give it a rest. You're doing absolutely nothing to further the process, and frankly, you're wasting everybody's time."
The kid didn't know enough to even apologize (not even to his own client) and instead gave an exasperated look in disbelief that said, "How dare you question my negotiating style!" Nonetheless, the message had been sent and the rest of the afternoon went rather well.
Just another reason to hate New York lawyers . . .
14. The guy I ran into at the airport tonight sells "high end" wine glasses. Some of which sell for over $75 a glass!! Huh?!? I couldn't keep a straight face as he tried to convince me that wine can only really be enjoyed in a hand-blown, work-of-art piece of stemware. Perhaps. But I've never turned down a New York Strip served on a paper plate and I probably won't stop drinking wine from the 4 for $5 glasses that I picked up at Costco.
15. At 8:07PM, somewhere between Gate A36 and the end of the runway, Spring arrived. So here's to warmer weather, fast greens and the crack of the Little League bats.
Well the big news in town yesterday was the announcement that the Commonwealth and the Penguins will build a new arena in Pittsburgh, thus ensuring that our beloved flightless birds will remain here for at least another 30 years. This is great news for hockey fans and non-hockey fans alike.
The Igloo/Mellon Arena is the oldest building in the NHL, and boy is it a dump. Concert promoters wouldn't book it anymore and even after 2 consecutive sellouts the NCAA had announced that they would never be back with the basketball tournament. We barely have our share of Disney on Ice shows. So this really is a great day for the City.
Couple things stood out for me though while listening to the press conference with Gov. Rendell, Mayor Ravenstahl (who announced that he was only 12 the last time Mario saved the Pens) and County Executive Onorato (yes, we have a ton of government in Pennsylvania!)
First, Rendell emphatically stated that this deal would not have been struck if not for the new revenue anticipated from the slots/casinos. Wait a minute Guv - I thought the slots revenues were supposed to be for property tax relief?
And if casinos were the answer, why in the world did the Pennsylvania Gaming Commission, in its ultimate wisdom, award the City's only slots license to the applicant whose proposal did the least for securing a new arena.? We never even needed to get to this point. The Isle of Capri Plan (which was rejected) would have provided for the construction of the same new arena with - and get this - NO public money! That's right, the Isle of Capri folks were going to build it for us. It would have simply been a giant "thank you" for giving them a license to print money in the form of our one and only slots license. So how do you pass that up? Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free, right?
Unfortunately, the knuckleheads on the Gaming Commission didn't see it that way. So, the taxpayers of this Commonwealth (but apparently not the City) will once again pay for the development of a new multi-million dollar arena while the sports franchise tenant will be entitled to retain all revenues (not just hockey revenues). We can't attract or retain good corporate jobs here in Pittsburgh, but man we can build stadiums and arenas with the best of 'em!
Don't get me wrong. I'm a firm believer in the benefits of maintaining professional sports teams. They are truly what separates big cities from small towns. And frankly, my tax dollars are spent on far worse initiatives, including weird art, the largest legislature in the country, duplicative city and county services, etc. So in the overall scheme of things, this is money well (or at least better) spent.
I just can't get away from the fact that some rich folks that build and operate casinos around the country were prepared to build us our state-of-the-art facility for free.
No questions asked. All we had to do in return was give them the slots license that was up for grabs. It's not as if we ignored the Isle of Capri plan in an effort to keep gaming out of the City all together. Nope. We will still have the crap, but we'll have to pay for a new arena now too.
I'm happy for Mario though. While its difficult to feel sorry for a guy who has so much, I do believe that most people in his position would have left long ago, and those that wouldn't have left would have sold out to the highest bidder in this latest go round. He truly wants this team to be here, and he'll take less money to make it happen. Make no mistake about it, the deal presented by Kansas City was a better deal for the Pens financially.
Lastly, all of the constituents (including the NHL Commissioner) emphatically stated today that this deal also would not have been made if not for the fans in Pittsburgh.
Some time over the last 15 years, we became quite the hockey town. One of the best in North America, according to Commissioner Bettman and many players around the League. That's pretty cool.
Now if I could only afford a ticket.
For the last 19 years, mid-March has always been a very special time me. It's fair to say that I look forward to the NCAA Tournament the way some people look forward to Christmas.
In fact for me, college basketball is pretty much a one month sport that runs from March 1 to April 1. Everything prior to March in college basketball is - let's face it - irrelevant. Much like the NHL regular season.
The Road to the Final 4 is perhaps the best 3 weeks in sports. Unfortunately, though, they have yet to come up with a way to make those last 3 games as good as the first 32. By then, the upset factor is lost. The 'dogs are all gone. There can be no more shock and awe.
Wouldn't it be great if the NCAA borrowed a page from reality TV and gave two bracket castoffs (preferably two of the dreaded #12 seeds) the opportunity to come back to the "show" for one more shot. The ultimate losers' bracket, if you will.
Anyway, the tournament has always been the source of many great memories - Derek Wittenberg's shot, er alleyoop, which led to those memorable shots of Jimmy V looking for someone to hug, Princeton over UCLA, Chris Webber's T.O., Valpo, and last year's run by George Mason.
To say I'm partial to the underdogs would be an understateent. I suppose that's because an underdog took me to my first Dance and gave me three weeks that I'll never forget.
In March of 1988, I was a junior at the University of Richmond. Following a weekend in Hampton, VA, where the Spiders won the CAA title to earn a Tourney bid, we learned that Richmond would travel to Hartford to play the defending National Champion Indiana Hoosiers in the First Round. Bobby Knight. Keith Smart. A pretty tough draw for a school of just over 2500 students and no marquee names on its roster.
Indiana was Darth Vader to our Luke Skywalker (I realize with the prequels and all that that analogy probably no longer works, but hey, I'm a kid of the 70s not the 00s). They were the Dallas Cowboys, the Boston Celtics, the Yankees, the Russian Hockey team, and the German bobsled dynasty, all rolled into one.
However, we did have Dickie T. Dick Tarrant. The best male perm in sports. What a coach. In fact, in a pre-game interview, Bobby Knight quipped, "Dick Tarrant was a good coach before I even started coaching." And what a job he did preparing these guys. Richmond (23-6) was a #13 seed to Indiana's #4, so it wasn't quite David v. Goliath. But it was close. Richmond won 72-69.
Then it was Bobby Crimmins and the Rambling Wreck in the Second Round. And Tarrant had them ready to roll again. Another upset. 59-55. It blew the lid clean off of the University. No work was done for days. It was magnificent stuff.
Unfortunately, Cinderella's slipper fell off the following week at the Meadowlands to Temple. But for 3 weeks, everything stood still. For 3 weeks, tiny Richmond was at the epicenter of the biggest event in sports. We were on ESPN, CNN, even the cover of SI.
Truth is, the Spiders have authored some of the best upsets in NCAA Tournament history. They upset Charles Barkley and Auburn in 1984 as a #12 seed. The they were the first #15 seed to beat a #2 seed when they knocked off Syracuse in 1992. In 1998, they claimed a #3 seed by downing South Carolina 62-61.
Now you can't watch the Tournament from year to year without hearing about those great Spider upsets or seeing highlights from those great games. I know, I know, its not as if my alma mater won the Rose Bowl. However, we can claim our couple swatches of the quilt that is March Madness. That's pretty cool.
Because of my experiences, I have no interest in cheering on the Dukes, Kentuckys and UCLAs. Instead I enjoy rooting for Winthrop, Albany, North Texas and, of course, Fang Mitchell's Coppin State. Fang once said, "We'll play anyone, any where, any time."
And while Richmond may never see those successes again . . .
And while most of our players will never play basketball beyond graduation day . . .
And while my good buddy Rodney Rice, the last second hero of the win over Indiana, manages a Home Depot in Baltimore . . .
We'll always have Hartford.
And that's more than enough for me.
I was raised and still live in a suburb of Pittsburgh. People like to refer to my town as Camelot, a community of "cake eaters" or any one of a number of similar labels that people often heap upon a well-to-do, upper middle class American suburb and its blue ribbon school system.
Given the reputation of our town, the minor social hiccups and mistakes are magnified for all of Western Pennsylvania to see. Jaywalkers and curfew busters are thrust into the cross-hairs, as if they were horrible criminals. I'm certain that others around Pittsburgh find our "news" laughable, given the more troubling real issues facing their neighborhoods or school districts.
The story of Shane Phillips is no exception. Go ahead, read the piece. I'll wait for you.
Crazy stuff, eh? But newsworthy? Come on. Not even on a slow news day. However, I think there are some solid lessons to be learned from poor Shane:
1. Parents, neither your kid nor your opinion of your kid is bigger than the team.
I spoke to someone very close to the team today, and he informed me that the coaches and the AD have been dealing with this since it happened nearly 2 weeks ago. Their goal was to deal with it internally, within the dynamic of the team. If you think about it, this would have been in the best interest of everyone involved. I'm told they were almost there when dear Ollie concluded that his boy was getting the short straw. So what does Daddy Dearest do? He takes it to the paper. Of course, the paper eats this up like leftover turkey and stuffing on the Friday after Thanksgiving.
What Ollie failed to realize is that no good can come from making your kid the center of attention - in any situation. Good or bad. This is not to say that you don't stand up for your kid at the proper time and place. But, never do you pull him out of the herd, shine the spotlight on him and say, for all the world to hear, "My kid is getting hosed by the coach!" I think this holds true even when your kid is on the debate team or in the orchestra. Whether the reasons are valid or not, the message to your kid should usually be "You're part of the team, and it ain't always fair." In his effort to build up Shane, Ollie has only knocked him down.
2. Always Apply the 24 Hour Rule to Email.
I realize that this valuable rule is generally not learned until later in life, and it is difficult to expect such self-control from a high school junior. Nonetheless, with email occupying a major part of our lives, even teenagers need to learn this simple guideline. Email is such an easy form of communication. It is nearly effortless. And once it is sent, it is out there for everyone to read, to copy and to forward. Forever.
All of us have pounded out the FU email to a colleague, client, boss, customer, adversary, relative or friend. (I have to admit though, the coach is a new one for me). All of us have also wished that we could pull one of them back. I know I have, and I know that Shane wishes he had his back too.
In the future, go ahead and type it. Get it off your chest. But, always, always, save it. Read it again tomorrow. Even money says you won't send it, or at least you'll tone it down. If you still want to send it as is, repeat steps 1 through 3.
3. Do What's Right.
In my heart of hearts, I believe that Shane thought he was doing the right thing by sending the email. As a co-captain and star player, he undoubtedly takes his sport and his team very seriously. Perhaps too seriously. After an emotional playoff loss, he let loose. Unfortunately, in addition to disregarding Rule #2, he dropped a few expletives on his coach. Never a good idea. It's also probably unwise to rat out your teammates. In all honesty, he didn't even have to. The news of their brief incarceration, especially in this town, would have made it to the Coach sooner rather then later. But I truly believe that Shane thought he was doing the right thing. The idea was there; it's just that his execution left a little something to be desired.
Perhaps the most troubling aspect of this story - particularly as a parent of 3 in this school district - is that the unnamed party animal point guard didn't get suspended from school or even the basketball team. Upon further discussion with my source, I was informed that it is the school district's policy NOT to take disciplinary action against students for events that do not take place on campus or at unsanctioned events. No doubt this policy is the result of a few over-litigious parents. And frankly, in this instance it's not even a question presuming innocence over guilt. Underage drinking is a statutory offense - just like speeding. You do it, you're guilty. Period.
First, I can assure you that this was not the rule in 1985. Second, how can this be the policy now? Let's take it to the extreme. Suppose the party animal point guard beat up his girlfriend on Saturday night and was arrested and charged with a number of offenses. Daddy Warbucks posts bail on Sunday morning. Is he really allowed to show up in US History on Monday morning?
Even if this is "the policy", and the administration is truly handcuffed, I still think the coach owes it to everyone else to do what's right. If the school can't suspend or otherwise punish a kid for off-campus, unsanctioned crimes, then a basketball coach can certainly do the right thing and kick him off of the team. Sure Mom and Dad would lawyer up, file for an injunction and look to fire everyone from the Superintendent down to the Student Manager.
Truth is though, it's the right thing to do. And isn't that what education is supposed to be about?
I used to be able to tell you when the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue was going to hit my mailbox. It was on my calendar, much like St. Patrick's Day, Memorial Day, you name it. It was always something to look forward to. This annual issue was coveted. Those days are gone.
**Disclaimer** Let me preface this by saying, I love women. Particularly incredibly beautiful women wearing next to nothing - or in the case of the SI swimsuit issue - usually nothing.
Unfortunately, SI's most read issue has become just another chic magazine. This year's issue had more perfume samples and clothing ads than Vogue or some other fashion magazine. What's worse is that the models are now the ridiculously thin, spaced out types that frequent those types of magazines.
SI models used to be the things of legend. They were household names - Christie Brinkley, Elle Macpherson, Kathy Ireland, Paulina Porizkova. Real women, with a certain % of body fat that obscured their rib cages. They had personalities, and even celebrity husbands. I mean would anyone have taken Ron Greschner
seriously if he wasn't married to Carol Alt? (Who, by the way, is now dating Alexei Yashin. Hot women with tiny Russian hockey players. That's a whole blog in itself.)
Also, the swimsuit issue is now devoid of anything but swimsuits, except for a few painted women. Another huge mistake. (Please re-read the disclaimer above). What made the swimsuit issue great back in the day is that it left you wanting more. So much so, that you really looked forward to the Letters to Editor section in the issue a few weeks later because it would undoubtedly satisfy some poor sap in Iowa's appetite for one more shot of that year's new superstar.
And, God forbid, the old school issues still had sports articles! Now, its just cover to cover swimsuits (except for the perfume and Perry Ellis ads). No sports. It makes you numb after a while. (Please re-read the disclaimer above)
I suppose we should have seen this coming when SI started including photospreads of famous people or couples. Once you go that route, you've pretty much killed a good thing. Its sort of like NFL Week on Wheel of Fortune. Does anyone really care if Warrick Dunn solves the puzzle?
And Beyonce on the cover? Come on. She's hot, she's got an amazing body, but this SI. Save it for Rolling Stone or People. Not on my sports magazine.
There was absolutely no reason for SI to try and become mainstream with this issue. After all, it WAS mainstream. Every sports magazine tried to copy the SI swimsuit issue. I even remeber thinking that Sport Magazine's issue was Penthouse to SI's Playboy. It was always just a little more racey and the models were just a bit more slutty. It never really worked though. (Please re-read the disclaimer above).
Life - and my swimsuit issue - were just fine with a few 80's style string bikinis sandwiched between college basketball and the Winter Olympics.
Well, March is here and for me that officially marks the end of Winter. It puts me in a much better frame of mind when I know that more daylight, pitchers and catchers, the NFL Draft, the Masters and the NCAA Tourney are all on the horizon. I'm overcome by many random thoughts.
1. I'm torn over the release of Joey Porter. By no stretch was he worth a $1 million roster bonus and $5+ million dollar salary. All in all, it was the right business move. However, with last year's retirement of Jerome Bettis and this year's retirement of Bill Cowher, I fear that this team has lost its identity. No fiery leader to be found. Hines Ward doesn't piss anyone off with pre-game remarks or mid-field flexing. Clark Haggans and Casey Hampton, although excellent performers, don't strike fear in the hearts of their opponents. And I'm afraid Ben is so lacking in leadership qualities that this may prove a long season for the offense under a new coordinator etc. So who's it going to be? It pains me to say it, but I'm terribly afraid of a repeat of 1984-1992. Remember those years in Steelers history? Exactly.
2. I went to a charity function on Saturday night and due to a shaky turkey burger from TGIFriday's in the afternoon I opted to stay away from the alcohol. I guess you know you drink too much when all of your friends and even casual acquaintences notice that you're not drinking! What's wrong with you? Did you give it up for Lent? Is your wife mad at you? One buddy even asked if turned gay. I didn't share with anyone the details of my pink turkey burger, but instead just shrugged off the questions. The behavior of this group of adults (many of whom were close friends and even some relatives) was somewhat astonishing. I would have expected the razzing from a group of 17 year olds in someone's basement, but a few months removed from my 40th birthday party? Do people associate me that closely with beer? Am I that boring when I'm sober? Are others afraid to drink without me? I wasn't quite sure how to take all of the comments I received on the issue, and frankly I was surprised that anyone bothered to notice.
3. Not to poach off of Peter King and his weekly quirky coffee stories, but I must say that I had one this weekend. We elected to stay at the hotel that hosted the charity event on Saturday night. Go figure . . . on the one night of the millenium that I don't drink, I have a $240 hotel room 12 minutes from my house. Anyway, being toxin free, I was up bright and early. I went to the lobby where they had a nice Stabucks spread, complimentary for all hotel quests. It was pleasant. I had my coffee and read the actual newsPAPER (something I never do anymore, at least in hard copy). So what does this have to do with coffee? . . . Well when my wife joined me for breakfast (in the same hotel lobby), I was charged $3 for the same cup of Starbucks that was free just across the foyer. I could spit on the free setup from where I was seated, and it still cost me $3. The waitress couldn't offer a reason. Really irked me.
4. Few things can make the NFL season more enjoyable for me. But one of them is Peter King's Monday Morning QB. What a great read.
5. Despite CoffeeGate, the Renaissance Hotel is a great place to stay when in Pittsburgh. I suggest Room 923, or anything on a high floor on the Allegheny River side. You can actually go the bathroom and watch a ballgame at PNC Park at the same time. Great design feature, eh? In fact, they should offer a package with Pirates tickets and call it their Pee-n-See Park Package. Just a thought.
6. Speaking of PNC Park, I have a feeling that this is the year that the Buccos crack the .500 plateau for the first time in 15 years. If not . . . well then the $300 I just dropped for Opening Day tickets is the last money they'll see from me in a while.
7. I'm also planning on taking my oldest son to Yankees Stadium in June to see the Pirates play there. Should be fun. He loves the Yankees, just like any other innocent 9 year old, who can still appreciate a team and its players for how they perform on the field, without paying attention to or being jaded by the discussions of greed, lousy ownership, salary caps and steroids. Wouldn't it be great if as a adults we could have that viewpoint again? Nah. Then I'd have to like the Patriots, Peyton Manning and Martin Brodeaur. That ain't happening.
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