Slow News Day = Life Lessons

I was raised and still live in a suburb of Pittsburgh. People like to refer to my town as Camelot, a community of "cake eaters" or any one of a number of similar labels that people often heap upon a well-to-do, upper middle class American suburb and its blue ribbon school system.

Given the reputation of our town, the minor social hiccups and mistakes are magnified for all of Western Pennsylvania to see. Jaywalkers and curfew busters are thrust into the cross-hairs, as if they were horrible criminals.  I'm certain that others around Pittsburgh find our "news" laughable, given the more troubling real issues facing their neighborhoods or school districts.  

The story of Shane Phillips is no exception. Go ahead, read the piece. I'll wait for you.  

Crazy stuff, eh?  But newsworthy?  Come on. Not even on a slow news day.  However, I think there are some solid lessons to be learned from poor Shane:

1. Parents, neither your kid nor your opinion of your kid is bigger than the team.

I spoke to someone very close to the team today, and he informed me that the coaches and the AD have been dealing with this since it happened nearly 2 weeks ago. Their goal was to deal with it internally, within the dynamic of the team. If you think about it, this would have been in the best interest of everyone involved.  I'm told they were almost there when dear Ollie concluded that his boy was getting the short straw.  So what does Daddy Dearest do?  He takes it to the paper. Of course, the paper eats this up like leftover turkey and stuffing on the Friday after Thanksgiving.  
 
What Ollie failed to realize is that no good can come from making your kid the center of attention - in any situation. Good or bad. This is not to say that you don't stand up for your kid at the proper time and place. But, never do you pull him out of the herd, shine the spotlight on him and say, for all the world to hear, "My kid is getting hosed by the coach!"  I think this holds true even when your kid is on the debate team or in the orchestra.  Whether the reasons are valid or not, the message to your kid should usually be "You're part of the team, and it ain't always fair."  In his effort to build up Shane, Ollie has only knocked him down.  

2. Always Apply the 24 Hour Rule to Email. 

I realize that this valuable rule is generally not learned until later in life, and it is difficult to expect such self-control from a high school junior. Nonetheless, with email occupying a major part of our lives, even teenagers need to learn this simple guideline.  Email is such an easy form of communication. It is nearly effortless. And once it is sent, it is out there for everyone to read, to copy and to forward.  Forever. 

All of us have pounded out the FU email to a colleague, client, boss, customer, adversary, relative or friend. (I have to admit though, the coach is a new one for me).  All of us have also wished that we could pull one of them back. I know I have, and I know that Shane wishes he had his back too. 
 
In the future, go ahead and type it. Get it off your chest. But, always, always, save it. Read it again tomorrow.  Even money says you won't send it, or at least you'll tone it down. If you still want to send it as is, repeat steps 1 through 3. 

3. Do What's Right.

In my heart of hearts, I believe that Shane thought he was doing the right thing by sending the email.  As a co-captain and star player, he undoubtedly takes his sport and his team very seriously.  Perhaps too seriously.  After an emotional playoff loss, he let loose.  Unfortunately, in addition to disregarding Rule #2, he dropped a few expletives on his coach.  Never a good idea.  It's also probably unwise to rat out your teammates.  In all honesty, he didn't even have to.  The news of their brief incarceration, especially in this town, would have made it to the Coach sooner rather then later.  But I truly believe that Shane thought he was doing the right thing.  The idea was there; it's just that his execution left a little something to be desired. 

Perhaps the most troubling aspect of this story - particularly as a parent of 3 in this school district - is that the unnamed party animal point guard didn't get suspended from school or even the basketball team. Upon further discussion with my source, I was informed that it is the school district's policy NOT to take disciplinary action against students for events that do not take place on campus or at unsanctioned events. No doubt this policy is the result of a few over-litigious parents. And frankly, in this instance it's not even a question presuming innocence over guilt. Underage drinking is a statutory offense - just like speeding. You do it, you're guilty. Period. 

First, I can assure you that this was not the rule in 1985. Second, how can this be the policy now?  Let's take it to the extreme. Suppose the party animal point guard beat up his girlfriend on Saturday night and was arrested and charged with a number of offenses. Daddy Warbucks posts bail on Sunday morning.  Is he really allowed to show up in US History on Monday morning?

Even if this is "the policy", and the administration is truly handcuffed, I still think the coach owes it to everyone else to do what's right. If the school can't suspend or otherwise punish a kid for off-campus, unsanctioned crimes, then a basketball coach can certainly do the right thing and kick him off of the team.  Sure Mom and Dad would lawyer up, file for an injunction and look to fire everyone from the Superintendent down to the Student Manager. 

Truth is though, it's the right thing to do.  And isn't that what education is supposed to be about?