Home Alone
This weekend my wife took a long-awaited and much deserved solo vacation to Florida. Her agenda looked something like this:
Thursday: Do nothing but sit by the pool.
Friday: Do nothing but sit on the beach
Saturday: Do nothing but sit by the pool then the beach
Sunday: Panic. Come home.
To most, this sounds relatively boring and unadventurous. But you see, we have three kids (11, 9 and 4).
For those of you that are parents, and especially mothers, you can certainly appreciate the unbridled joy of doing absolutely nothing for 4 days. Zero, zip, nada.
When people ask me if my wife works, I tell them that she is a Domestic Air Traffic Controller. The calendar in our kitchen looks like the logistics department at FedEx. Between school events, doctor/dentist appointments, sports, brithday parties, her own suburban housewife functions, etc., you can barely make out the day of the week.
I'm currently on Day 4 of filling in in her world . . . The house is at DEFCON 4. The slightest noise sends me into a rage. If I hear, "Daaaad, I'm hungry" or "Daaad, Jake won't give me the remote" or "Daaad, can I call [insert kid's name here] to see if he can play" one more time . . . .
This is work. Hard work. I feel like I have done the dishes 10 times since Thursday and the sink is still full. Everytime I turn around I'm sweeping something off of the floor or putting toys away. Where do they all come from? And when does my wife even think about making the beds? I'm convinced she hires someone to do that . . . she has to!
Congress should spend less time discussing an increase in the minimum wage, and more time finding a way to pay mothers. Seriously. There is no more noble a profession. These women have perhaps the greatest impact on the future of our country. They shape the minds of these kids, for better or for worse. I know for certain that if I did this every day, sunrise to sunset, my kids would hate me. Truly, they would. To survive in this environment day in and day out without resorting to violence is phenomenal.
Over the past 96 hours, I have come to appreciate my wife on a whole new level. I now understand why I get the phone calls at 6:30, wondering (but never demanding) when I'll be home. Amazingly, she nevers whines and complains when I'm having a beer after work. She's a rock.
We (and especially I) miss you Mom, and we hope you had a great time doing nothing.
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